Monday, April 30, 2007

Rapture

Last night I was watching 'Real Time with Bill Maher' (Friday's show) and during the last New Rule he mentioned a curious statistic: 29% of the country still supports Bush and, maybe on a somewhat related note, 25% of the country believes that the rapture will happen this year. Bill went on to speculate that these are the same people who go on blind faith in the bible and in George W. I'm not going to comment on that, lets focus instead on the quarter of the population that doesn't expect to see 2008 roll around.

Excellent, finally a large number of religious people make a refutable statement! It doesn't happen often, and I for one am incredibly happy at this. I’m happy at the fact that they stated this. I’m happy at the fact that 75 million Americans (based on 300 million Americans estimate as of 2007) pushed their beliefs off a cliff in the vain hope of seeing them fly. Guess what, ain't happening!

So, what do we do with this little bit of information? I have a few ideas. Feel free to append your own.

  • Call up a few of the 75 million people at 4am on January 2, 2008. If they answer, say "You're not supposed to be there!" Hang up and call again the next day. Keep this up for a while.
  • Move all 75 million out of their houses, replacing them with poor and homeless people. "You're not going to be around here much longer, be a good Christian and help out a worthy cause."
  • On January 2, 2008, go to the houses of some of the 75 million people and ask them if they're still going to attend church and donate money. Get them to spend the same amount of time/money (that they spent at Church) on humanitarian purposes. In a week, poverty is wiped out in America. In a month, the world.
This is just something I came up with a few minutes ago, I'm sure if we pool our resources we can be quite creative.

Also, on the note of the rapture, there is a rapture website that works on a dead-man switch: if the operator of the site doesn't re in more than a day (or something) it is assumed that the rapture took place. At this time the server sends out emails that Christians have added to the database, a few words for their left-behind friends. There's fun to be had with this particular set up, I'm sure you see.

2 comments:

FuzzyGamer said...

Oh boy. If you need to advertise your site, please do it elsewhere.

I'm going to leave this comment up, if only to give people something to laugh at. Read a bit of this "Inaugural Address", if only for poops and giggles. And for further proof that there is still a need for straitjackets in this country.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for leaving my post up.
Yes, I'm a type of spammer. Mention the Rapture, and I am there.
Quoting myself: 'You may feel this is a spoof or hoax and laugh. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not!'
And I am for sure a far out Space Cadet.
Within months, if not years, by my hand, we will be in the post apocalyptic world of 'Jericho' on TV! The proof is in the pudding! Stay tuned!