[fuzzy world]: July 2006

Monday, July 31, 2006

Gibson on the barbie!

Maybe you've heard, Mel Gibson was arrested for going 87 in a 45 zone. Drunk as he was, half more than the legal limit, he wasn't too drunk to suggest that all the world's wars are caused by Jews. Yeah, while some of us are happy drunks or falling-on-ourselves-and-anyone-and-anything-within-sight drunks, Gibson is a racist drunk. Or so they say. So it goes.

The funny thing about this article
http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=229065>1=7701
that I got from MSN, of all places, is that this guy Michael Levine thinks that Gibson is done with. Not like Macaulay Culkin, more like OJ. And Levine would know, since this asshole represented Michael "Pattycake" Jackson and Charlton "Die Hippie!" Heston. I mean, if anyone knows something about stars building their own crematoriums, this guy should.

I actually don't know or care about Gibson. If he gets away, we'll see more Christian-themed movies. If he doesn't, we won't get to see him run through corn fields in crappy movies. Boo-hoo.

Of course it matters what he said, but does it matter much? OK, so he's not big on Israel. So what? Everyone has some prejudices, some dislikes they'd like to keep secret. Not everyone can. He certainly didn't. Imagine if everything you thought was broadcast to the public. Aside from the massive world-wide vomitting, you'd be strung up in the town square for thinking about that. You know what I'm talking about.

Now be glad it wasn't you and be gladder when Gibson pays for this through the nose. Ever seen "Reversal of Fortune"? Maybe Gibson is the guy destined to pay for saying what's on his mind, something that an awful lot of us would love to say but can't. Not about hating Jews, but simply saying things that we think.

True!

If you've got that many singles, what the hell is the pointing of signing up?! Obviously the people already in the program haven't found anyone! And they've had, literally, millions of people to consider before you got there. So close the website, defrost that burrito and settle in to watch the Daily Show. Or, if you're still staunchly determined to find someone online and not settle for the bottom of the barrel, try a different service that doesn't advertise by announcing how many people haven't met anyone or need scantily-clad women to attract attention to their business*. Don't try MySpace, though. I hear they make it their business to pair up idiotic teenagers (pleonastic phrase?) and rapists.

*Are these people trying to set records with the number of attractive women advertising their site? Sure, Playboy may need advertising like this, though I doubt it, but does True?
Are they stipulating that if you use their services you'll find a woman like ones in their advertising? Not going to go off and do something suicidal like saying "women who are that attractive don't put their pictures on online-dating websites." Besides the fact that I'll be burned alive, I don't agree with that statement. I will, however, make a generalization and say that though super-model women do use these sites, the chances of finding one that likes microwaved burriots, the Daily Show and D&D in your parents' basement are very slim: not only do you have to find one, but you've gotta be a match.

Aside from false-advertising, you have to look who the advertising is aimed for. Try this at home: watch some show or channel you don't normally watch, like day-time soaps, and check out the advertising. You can tell who the companies want to sell their product to, who buys a lot of their product and what they watch. During "The Price is Right" there are a lot of commercials for inexpensive life-insurance: senior citizens really like "The Price is Right". Go figure. So, from the True commercials we know that the main target is white males ages 18-35. If you're a single white female age 18-35, this might be perfect for you. But if you're not, it means that you'll be paying for a database of people you wouldn't want to be dating. Better think again.

Biological clocks and such

If a woman decides to push the issue of her internal clock and the biological imperative to have children, the man ought to remind her of his own biological imperative to father many children and excuse himself to get started.
Well, that pretty much guarantees that I'm gonna be branded a misogynistic asshole. Our thick-skulled hominid relatives have the biological imperative to get agressive when their view of the world is challenged in the least.
Speaking of which: the Republican definition of a bad citizen is someone who would like a very good a reason to declare war.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Sherlock

Sherlock
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Most days I'd give an arm and a leg to know what he's thinking

My grandpa, doing what he does best...

My grandpa, doing what he does best...
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

...making a crucifix for our heathen family

Saturday, July 29, 2006

A bookstore and a night club

I usually go to Barnes and Noble at night, and for the past however-long I've always noticed this sign "NO PARKING" standing in the middle of the road to the BN plaza. I never understood what the hell it meant, since there were cars in the lot and no one was screaming at me to leave. So I went around the sign and parked like always. Today, I decided to figure this little mystery out.
HOW THE HELL DO I NOT NOTICE THAT THERE IS AN INCREDIBLY POPULAR NIGHT CLUB RIGHT OPPOSITE THE BARNES AND NOBLE?!
The parking lot is full and people are parking on the road. I mean, all those white, pimped out SUV's should have clued me in, but I guess I'm not in the right frame of mind when I'm coming out of a bookstore. Sue me.

Shelf at Barnes and Noble

Shelf at Barnes and Noble
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Spot the one that doesn't belong

Dear Abby...

Dear Abby: I am a perfectly happy 26 year-old married to the best man in the world. Except that he is a selfish bastard.
Last week we went to IKEA with my father, Bub. I pointed Bub toward a tray of meatballs that IKEA was trying to sell. Bub sampled a meatball and proceeded to tell me it was the most delicious thing ever. He of course forgot about my world-famous lasagna, otherwise he wouldn't have hurt my feelings that way. I told him that we couldn't buy the meatballs because they needed to be frozen, and we had more stops to make that day.
Yesterday, my husband, Hank, was at IKEA, obviously checking out the newly-wed women, and he picked up the meatballs. When he got home, he proceeded to brag on endlessly about how he searched and searched, sailed the high seas and wrestled alligators, and finally found the meatballs. Bub proceeded to thank Hank for his thoughtfullness and the two ended up going to a bar, probably hitting on those skanky waitresses.
What can I do about Hank? He took credit for the meatballs that I was going to buy Bub? I don't know if I can remain in this marriage when I know that my husband is such a selfish man.

-Abused in Virginia

Dear Abused: What kind of crap do you think I reply to? Your letter is pathetic, you're clearly a loser and your husband is cheating on you! Why am I even spending time answering your letter when there are much more important issues for me to address, such as which side up should the silverware be placed in the dishwasher, the proper way to tell a co-worker that "no, I won't attend your stupid party" (but in a nice way) and of course the ubiquitous "I can't get along with people 'cause I'm too high-strung and this broom in my ass is making my nose itch!"
That being said, go into counseling. You wouldn't believe how many abused women that advice has helped. Mainly, you wouldn't believe it cause it hasn't helped many. But I fear change, and moving away from the comfortable "see a counselor" answer scares me like a black man on a dark street. Go into counseling!
It sounds like Bud and Hank really hate your cooking. With a vengeance. So I suggest one of my dozen books (they're not really mine, they're my mom's, but as you can see I can't do anything original and have to take the scraps she throws me from the big-people table) of recipes that readers have sent in. Buy it. It will solve all your problems. Can't figure out what too cook and they guests are at the door? Have to slip poison to your loved one and need something disgusting to cover up the flavor of arsenic mixed with fecal matter? Need to negotiate terrorists out of a 34-story sky-scraper while trying to salvage your failing and pointless marriage? Read my book! Buy multiple, in case you accidentally burn one!
Normally, I would include a crap-load of letters from other losers like yourself, but I'm not hung over today and don't need a cheap way out.
Get counseling!

Pavel's new furniture

Pavel's new furniture
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

A sweet computer table and most of an entertainment center

Polyamory and me

I was just explaining the concept of polyamory to Taty. For the people living under a rock or behind the Bible, polyamory is the practice of maintaining multiple open relationships at once. We got to the topic when I was explaining my thoughts on traditions, and polyamory was an example of an idea that most people would reject automatically, without even considering it, but it's an idea that has merit, esp. in today's world.
New Scientist had a very interesting article in it ("Love Unlimited", July 8-14, 2006) about polyamory that is a good read and should be examined, in particular if you believe however-strongly against this concept and think that monogamy is the swellest thing since sliced bread.
I'll go into the subject of polyamory and BS traditions in a later blog (or not, seeing how I've already talked about it), but for now I'll just submit this quote from our conversation -

Taty: So, what do you personally think about polyamory? [Specifically, personal feelings.]
Me: I have enough problems finding one person, you want me to try finding multiple?

And that's a wrap, people!

Friday, July 28, 2006

Hillarious Christian TV

I was in Redmond, WA (or was it Bellevue?) this week and I happened to watch a fair bit of Christian TV. It's this channel that continuously shows massive halls or churches or arenas that hold thousands upon thousands of ~~sheep~~ Christians. It's truly fascinating to see so many mis-guided people in one place, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.
So, the preachers (or whatever) often talk about how people ought to be grateful to God for all the good stuff that happens to them. The specific example they used were:

A good job
Good Health
A preacher's life was saved when his car spun out on the highway
Alcoholics who gave up the bottle entirely when they found God
Homosexuals who... anyway, same thing as the alcy
People who were brought up from their various down-points by belief in God
Families salvaged

And on and on, ad nauseum. But I was watching this 'cause the more they talked, the funnier and more ridiculous it seemed.
Some Jehovah's Witnesses were at our house a while back (there's a picture of them a ways down on this blog) and they were saying how they don't drink (that's what they said, even though Witnesses are allowed to drink in moderation, as the great Wiki tells us), smoke, don't have sex before marriage, ~~do anything fun~~ or do any other "sinful" things. And that's why they are in good health and their lives are good and all that same old crap.
Putting the two together, I suppose a person who doesn't do any of the aforementioned and praises God for all the good stuff is going to live a nice, peaceful life. So, I guess good Christians die good deaths. Nothing like being trapped under a burning truck or dying for years from some oh-too-painful disease.
You know what I found out when I tried to confirm this? Two things, really:

There are no statistics about which deaths are more popular (bad choice of words? bite me!) among which religion
There's no such thing as "a peaceful death", or at least it's not counted in the statistics

Here's a link to the 2002 death statistics (death is death, not like these will change drastically in four years): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_causes_of_death_by_rate
Notice the top contenders: 3 diseases, cancers and stroke. Jeez, doesn't sound like those people went peacefully. In fact, take a look at the list and tell me one cause of death in there that sounds like something a good Christian, or whatever, would choose. Come to think of it, the Witnesses that came over are an interesting example: the guy has been married before, and his wife died of cancer. Assuming that she was a good Witness, it seems like she got royally shafted. Imagine going through your life and being oh-so-good-and-boring and then dying from cancer. Seem like a cosmic joke to you?
Of course, if a good God-praising goober does get a disease, cancer, infection, whatever, they're not gonna say "praise God for years of pain and my hair falling out due to chemo". Nor will they shake their fist up at the sky and yell "damn you, you sadistic bastard!" Nah, they'll just say "God has a plan" (boy, that one never gets old!) and go on dying. Cause they're sure as hell not gonna take themselves out of the equation. So, where does God come in to all this? Here you have a faithful servant, and God chooses to shaft you? In fact, shaft everyone and anyone, according to the stats.
Go on, lead a good life and know that in the end you're dying the same painful, ugly, undignified death as the Muslim, Jew, Hindu or that smug atheist.

Taty is a Conservative

No matter how much it pains me to say this, my sister is a conservative.
Not in the sense of "gays should go down a hole and not come back" or "bomb those sand people into Jesus times", but in the other, traditionalist sense.
You oppose change, for a multitude of reasons, and it would probably have been better (in some sense) for you to be born into an earlier, simpler time. Myself, I know I'd have loved to grow up in th 70's, but that's a different story.
You oppose throwing out the old while it's still functioning and replacing it, in your mind un-necessarily, with a newer, flashier thing. Look it up, that's the defintion of a conservative, one who tends to favor traditional views and values and opposes change.
Granted, most of your brethren oppose such radical and evil things as gay marriage and human rights, I'm picking on you purely from the dictionary definition and for no other reason than because I can.

Photo
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Photo
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Photo
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Photo
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Photo
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Boarding gate for Southwest

Boarding gate for Southwest
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Half an hour 'till boarding.

Do these people just enjoy standing in lines?

Hmmm, shiny

Hmmm, shiny
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Anyone have any idea what this is?

Beautiful view from Sea-Tac

Beautiful view from Sea-Tac
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

If only I didn't have to wake up so early!

The sky is bleeding, the sky is bleeding!

The sky is bleeding, the sky is bleeding!
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

So matching...

So mathcing...
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

...you'd think they were related.

Watching Christian infomercial...

Watching Christian infomercial...
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

...funniest thing ever! Praise Jesus!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Heatwave!

The record-high temperatures we're experiencing have reached a new high as the heatwave has reached Alaska: Steve, the local fat guy/thermometer has broken into a light sweat. Residents are asked to barricade themselves underground, in cellars and freezers. There is still no response from the White House, but the National Guard is expected to be called in.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Corporate secrets

As a Microsoft employee, I am privy to information about upcoming product releases. Here's a list of features you'll see in the first quarter of 2007:

Microsoft Flight Simulator steps up the realism: with the purchase of the software you get a year's supply of stale peanuts (offer valid in continental United States). Also, every once in a while the plane will be highjacked by a randomly determined extremsit group. Keep an eye out for the super-rare Jehovah's Witnesses highjacking!
Microsoft Vista, the all-new release of Windows, will now cater to "alternative-lifestyle users" with the introduction of the Rainbow Screen of Death. California users will also notice a change from old-fashioned error message to Haiku poetry.
A Corporate Edition of Vista is announced. This version comes bundled with productivity software such as Office, FrontPage, and Access. This version of Vista also has a slew of one-key shortcuts: 17 open Microsoft Word, 8 open Solitaire, 19 crash the computer and delete the last saved document and a whopping 35 randomly-assigned keys send pornographic virus-laden e-mails to everyone in the office.
MSN Messenger is undergoing several updates: in addition to being able to chat with Yahoo! Messenger users, it will now support tin-can-and-string users. Support for smoke-signal users is currently in development.
Microsoft prides itself on building for the future, so the latest updates to the satellite images shown on MSN Maps don't come as a surprise: Apple's campus now appears as a mile-wide smoking crater while Google resembles the slum towns dating back to The Great Depression.

That is all for now. Good luck and God bless.

Idiocy and annoyance at 38,000 feet

This lady two rows in front of me was playing some hand-held game (think cheap GameBoy with a single game) with volume on max. Everyone is annoyed, no one wants to say anything for fear that she'll have a heart attack when criticized. Finally, some courageous guy in front asks her to mute it and she has no idea what he's talking about. SHE'S WEARING EAR PLUGS! Remember that line in "Fight Club" about old widows letting their hearing aids go and having to watch game shows at full volume? So, anyway, now she can't find the volume, and we spend two minutes listening to her character being beaten to death as she keeps flipping the game around tring to figure out where the volumizer nob is. Times like these, I wish her family did a bit of thinking and gotten her a cup with a ball on a string.

Blogging at 38,000 feet

Blogging at 38,000 feet
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Blogging at 38,000 feet

Blogging at 38,000 feet
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Blogging at 38,000 feet

Blogging at 38,000 feet
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Blogging at 38,000 feet

Blogging at 38,000 feet
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Blogging at 38,000 feet

Blogging at 38,000 feet
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Blogging at 38,000 feet

Blogging at 38,000 feet
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Blogging at 38,000 feet

Blogging at 38,000 feet
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

A good day to barbeque...

A good day to barbeque...
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

...and explain nano-tech to the dog

Friday, July 21, 2006

Books, oh my

Robert J Sawyer's "Flashforward" has got to be the fastest book I have ever read. I started it on the train to Chicago on Wednesday and finished it Thursday evening. For me, that's a record (I think). That's also contrasted by "Metaplanetary", a book I've been trying to read for about three years now. Or four. And a couple others that I start, read a few pages (or chapters) and just can't go on.
Here's a break-down of the last few books I've read, all of which I recommend, though some more enthusiastically than others:

For Us, The Living - Robert A. Heinlein
This, being Heinlein's first novel, is a recipe for all of his later work. I covered it a bit (or a lot?) in a previous post, so I'll leave it to this: read it, think about it, think about the world around you, and vomit.
Calculating God - Robert J. Sawyer
A personal favorite, this book explores the question of "Is there a god?" from an Earthling's viewpoint. The book is set in Toronto, and starts off with a pleasant alien asking to see a paleontologist. The premise of the book is that there are aliens out there, they are from planets close to ours, they believe in God and they're on a quest to discover God's methods and purpose.
Sawyer explores the question of God from a familiar stance, one of emergence and evolution of life. It helps to have a bit of a background in this, but it's by no means necessary, as his explanations are mostly accurate. He falters on the explanation of the Game of Life, but the conclusions are solid.
The ending leaves something to be desired, not being a concrete answer and a bit of a let-down, though I have become accustomed to this from Heinlein. It's worth noting that Sawyer is an acclaimed Canadian author, so that may be an explanation: he is not drowing in the Hollywood-esque ideas of a good ending.
Starship Troopers - Robert A. Heinlein
"Troopers" happens to be the first of the military-fiction genre, and a very good foundation for the rest. That being said, the book is good but not exceptional. The characters are under-develope and two-dimensional; the aliens are simply Bugs, with little to no descriptions given. In short, it is classic Heinlein. I happen to have acquired a taste for this sort of story, but not everyone will like it. It is a downer, certainly, but it is a very interesting book, philosophically and emotionally. It more than touches on the subject of "why we fight" and explores the mind of the soldier.
As a side-note, read this book first and then watch the movie. Just for the laughs. The movie is nothing like the book, and while they may have the main character and a bit of the background in common, they are dogs of different breeds. Watch the movie to see what Hollywood does with great science fiction. Then you'll see why the genre fails to attract people. Star Wars and Star Trek don't count, they're not sci-fi, they're fan-fi.
Flashforward - Robert J. Sawyer
A book so breathtaking and excellent in delivery, I think I read it too fast. The premise is of a particle-accelerator accident (or was it?) that lets the entire world see two minutes of what the world becomes in 20 years. During these two minutes, everyone "zones out", so quite a few tragedies result from this accident, from people falling down stairs or collapsing in hallways to entire planes crashing into the ground as they were landing. Sawyer's exploration of the world post-Flashforward is exciting, intriguing and insightful (enough adjectives in there?). The characters are realistic and their experiences and emotions feel real. (Though I did crack up at the suicidal thoughts of one minor character. What does that say, I wonder?)
I have to recommend this book as life-affirming and personally significant as Ken Grimwood's "Replay". About "Replay", I think it is a book that everyone should read and if I had the money, I'd hand a copy to every person I know. At one point I had three copies of the book in my house: the first was a paperback that I bought in college, which is now in Champaign (maybe, just maybe, Taty is reading it); the second is a first-edition hardcover in excellent condition that I got as a present for my dad; the third is a hardcover that I got for myself, part of my move to get my favorite and most read novels in hardcover, as some of them are quite literally falling apart.

I think that's about all. Just a sweet little ramble about books. Oh, and no, I don't just read Heinleing and Sawyer. It just so happened that I was reading Heinlein, bought and read a book by Sawyer, found a Heinlein book that I haven't read yet and then got another book by Sawyer, seeing as I liked his previous ones (I also read "Mindscan", which was quite interesting, but once again a bit of a let-down in the ending).

If you got this far, you're likely to read books for the hell of it. Or you're just really bored and reading this blog is something to do while you're waiting for the laundry.
Well, keep on reading. I can't tell you how sad I am by the countless number of people in this country that are illiterate by choice. And they are happy about it. I have met people that have told me, while proudly shining at me all of their 32 teeth, that they haven't read a book since junior high or high school. I am very sure that even those were not of their own volition, but required for class.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Concert in Chicago, continued again

Concert in Chicago
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

The real Gay Games Chorus

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Concert in Chicago, continued

Concert in Chicago, continued
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Gay Games chorus

Concert in Chicago

Concert in Chicago
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

O Burmina

Link to crappy-sounding video: O Burmina

Enjoy

PS: You might have to upgrade your media player. Or, here's a wild idea, don't install that POS Real Player and install this guy: Media Player Classic

Halo

Ah, yes, good 'ol Halo. The people are being assholes again and there's nothing we can do. I was just kicked from a server because I was using opportunistic strategies. The OP is on blue, I'm on red. When a blue player takes advantage of our portal to score easy head-shots, he's not kicked but warned four times. Something that I rather doubt, but of course OP's are honest and trustworthy. So, now I've parked my tank on a cliff overlooking the blue base and I'm pretty much mowing down anything that tries to get a vehicle. The guy threatens me - "Move or I'm kicking you, asshole!" I move. Continue to kick ass (at this point I am at 90 kills, while most people have less than 30). And then I get kicked. No warning, just a kick. I swear, some of these OP's are the most pissy people I've encountered. A few games back an OP tells me to move my tank cause I'm disrupting the other team's life (OP is on the other team, of course). I respond with "where would you like me to move my tank?" and almost immediately get the boot.
People in Halo seem to be missing the point of running around with guns blazing: this is war, you're trying to kill the other guys and achieve some objective. Using a particular weapon does not make you a NOOB. It mearly suggests you have a preference. Or, here's a wild thought, the weapon is effective and why bother switching strategies? Same thing with vehicles and positions (as in, spawn camping that the other player was doing). I have no objections to a person sticking to a particular gun/vehicle/strategy. For one thing, I do that myself. Second, if a person has a preference for specific vehicles and stratagies, it's easy to find a flaw/weak point and exploit it. Certainly, a person who doesn't move from one spot (the place they spawn-camp us from) is easier to kill because you know exactly where they are. When the player was taking those easy head-shots, I took the long way around and surprised him with another head-shot. The players on the other team could have done that to me. Ambushing a tank is a hell of a lot simpler, considering my response time, rate of reload and lack of options (going over a cliff in a tank isn't as safe as it sounds).

Monday, July 17, 2006

Dozens of webpages later...

Johnny comes back from school crying and says, "Mommy all the kids in the school say I have a big head."
His mother replies, "No you don't Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other children are merely hiding the truth to protect your feelings."

This joke was painstakingly picked out from hundreds of others quite like it, but just not as funny. Enjoy.

Brought to you by:
Martians for the strip-mining of Venus - "Your planet is inferior!"
and
The National Republican-Nazi Party - "Was anyone really surprised by this?"

Number 4627 for owning a Treo

Number 4627 for owning a Treo
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Posting in a blackout

Damn goobers

Everyone knows spam. Most people hate it. I mean, since spam still exists, people are clicking on those links and buying into it.
And now I'm getting spam on this blog. Some anonymous ass posted a comment on my blog referring me to some way to make 900$. Yay, now all I have to do is pay you some money and I am guaranteed to make a butt-load of money myself.

BTW, I really don't care for how people write amounts of money, with the dollar sign (and also the pound sign, for British currency) in front of the amount. When I want to tell someone a price online, I think to myself "500 dollars" and write 500, then remember that the dollar sign goes first and have to backtrack. Why do we say "500 dollars" but write it in a way that should be read "dollars 500"? One more idiotic thing about the English language. Or is it? Is it simply some convention that people seem to have agreed on? In that case, bad people!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Barrington Lakes

Barrington Lakes
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Ahhh, good 'ol times

Russian TV and more

My grandpa is over from the old country, so we got a second satellite dish to get some Russian programming. Consequently, I've been watching (though mostly hearing) a lot of Russian movies and TV series. The only thing I can say is "God damn!" Someone, please take the cameras out of these people's hands!

In order to get an accurate idea of what Russian television is nowadays, think back to those "artistic" sophomores in high school. You know the kind. They wrote sappy scripts for crappy movies and imagined they'd win at Cannes. The acting was horrific, the script reeked like "bad meat or good cheese", the acting was a step down from porn and the whole thing cost 12 bucks for the used wigs and a soiled tie. Not bashing sophomoric for trying. Just for trying while lacking skill. I understand that you've gotta start somewhere and you have to learn on mistakes. Still.
Well, the majority of Russian entertainment industry seems to be looking up to our sophomores, as the drivel they're producing makes the sophomores look like Spielberg and Tarantino.
The scripts are horrific, being action love dramas, sci-fi love drams (think X-Files minus the science), or just love dramas. Basically, these people decided "Hey, doesn't matter what we do, everyone is screwing everyone else, it's all in the open and everyone is pissed off at someone." As a matter of fact, I think the directors have that tattooed on their foreheads "Your main motivation is you're pissed off. Go!".
The stories are incredibly two-dimensional, see-through, full of irrelevant scenes and moments and invariably involve the Mafia.
The budget is pretty much the budget of the sophomores. Most of the series (soaps, I suppose) don't use sets but are taped in actual places, be it apartments or offices. There are a lot of outside scenes (as opposed to the average soap) because that's even cheaper. Drive to the country side, place the camera down, have the actors pretend they're somewhere fancy and you've got your locations shots.
I'd say something about the actors, but calling them that would be a compliment. No, the people aren't reading off cue cards, but it would probably be better if they were. I can't really describe it, so just think back to the sophomores and imagine what the movie would have been if they tried really hard to show the camera their emotions. Oh my, that person is frowning, do you suppose they're trying to tell me they're angry after their father was shot a dozen times?
The people making this crap have apparently gone off the deep end. Russians are producing far more "serials" (soaps) than movies, and when they make the movies, those are invariable mini-serials, being much longer than the standard two hours. Quite in fact, I haven't seen many two hour movies that weren't made in the Soviet era. It seems that the serial format has dominated Russia.
For some things, the "serial" a good approach. I've long wished that the Sci-Fi channel would step up and produce classic works as miniseries, but it hasn't happened. Except for the remake of that horrific Dune movie. But imagine "Ringworld" told in something like 8 one-hour episodes. That way you get to cover the entire book, something that movies can't do well. Hell, there's a lot of good books out there just asking for miniseries made for them, but it seems that no one is listening.
Russian television is nauseating, though not to the people actually watching it. My grandpa seems to like it. Don't know what it is, but older people like to watch drawn-out stories with no end in sight. That's why soaps still exist.

Not related to Russian television is how my grandpa watches American programming. He doesn't know English at all. It's hilarious to watch. I walk into the room as he's in the middle of an action movie and he proceeds to explain the plot to me. "These are the bad guys. They're looking for the money the hero stole from them. Also, the main bad guy and the hero's wife were involved, but it didn't work out because the hero showed up. So now the main bad guy is really upset at the hero. What they don't know is that the cops have a man undercover. He's the main bad guy's second-in-command. And the hero's wife is actually a KGB agent in hiding from the damn capitalists." He's watching Die Hard. I truly have no idea how he arrives at these conclusions, but it's awesome. And every story involves the Mafia, as all the Russian movies and serials he watches always have the Mafia connection. What can I say, Russia is corrupt. Of course it didn't used to be in the good-'ol days. It's also mildly amusing watching my grandpa complain about how modern day democracy sucks and the communism was much better. The failure in the argument is that he's comparing broken and corrupt democracy of Russia here-and-now with the idealized vision of the Soviet Union there-and-then.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

This is a new one

This is a new one
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

And I didn't put him there

Cheap software at Menards

Cheap software at Menards
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

It doesn't get much lower than this

Eggs!

Taty has a link to this flash up as her away message.
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/eggsong.php

She really really like this flash.

This is what Derrick (fellow intern from hell... er, I mean, M$) replied

Funny Combinations

I've recently noticed that I like weird phrases that are combinations. Here's some examples

[Bash.org link - http://bash.org/?74592]
<+TreeSquid> From: "Lots_Of_Lobster@I-Like_Lobster"
<+TreeSquid> Subject: Click here for chance to win 50 lbs.of lobster!
<+TreeSquid> what the fuck, lobster spam?!

[Bash.org link - http://bash.org/?26739]
<idk> She sure didn't look 15 dancing around in her underwear.
<mothoc> that's probably why your friend was arrested
<idk> The moral is, beware Russian/Eastern European accents.
<idk> Apparently, the fall of the Soviet Union caused the world market to be flooded with weapons-grade jailbait.

[Bash.org link - http://bash.org/?36699]
<cptplanet> wtf? i can't find any lobster fetish sites out there.
<cptplanet> and you call yourself an internet.

[Penny Arcade link - http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/07/29]

So, I really like hillarious phrases. In the above we are introduced to:

lobster spam
lobster fetish
weapons-grade jailbait
found cake

Have any suggestions? My door is wide closed. So slide them under and hope the building doesn't catch fire in the mean time.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Corn me up!

Corniest Joke of The Moment!

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't
have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

This "Corniest Joke of The Moment!" moment is brought to you by:
Cannibals of America - "You are what you eat"

Enjoying the weather

Enjoying the weather
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

It's good to have land...

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Game of Life

Testing to see if it's possible to post Java Applets as blog entries, without slowing down the blog.
Also, posting The Game of Life Applet. This is the 5th iteration, and the program is getting better each time I write it.

You need to have an updated version of the JRE. Download JRE 5.0 at this link: http://java.sun.com/javase/downloads/index.jsp

To start, click on the applet and press space-bar.
Try randomizing the field with different rules. Some rules produce different outcomes based on the fill-rate of the field.
Also, try pausing the game, setting the rules for Seeds (2), clearing the field and then putting two horizontal (or vertical) dots right in the middle of the board, and starting the game up again. It's quite something.

Controls (First, click on the applet to gain focus):
Left-click (and drag) - add cells
Right-click (and drag) - remove cells
Space-bar - Pause/Run simulation
C - Clear the gameboard
R - Randomize the gameboard. The board is filled to a random ratio of alive/dead cells.
+/- - Increase/Decrease simulation speed
0-7 - Select a different set of rules. Try them all. My favorite is 1 (Diamond).

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Imitation flavor

Imitation flavor
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Am I missing something?

Alexian Brothers ER

Alexian Brothers ER
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

A list of their values. Efficiency ain't it.

We went to the Alexian Brothers ER Monday night after my mom fell and injured her arm. I think we got there around 12:30. We didn't leave until 5:30. The people at the security desk where sitting and watching a movie or a TV show, thankfully with headphones on, and kept on saying that they were real busy. There were two other patients and it was three hours after we got an x-ray before we went to see an actually doctor. Let me tell ya, if I've got a golf-ball stuck in the side of skull after experimenting with a home-made Gatling gun, I'm not going to Alexian Brothers. I'll drive around, get everyone's estimates on the wait and choose after I have four quotes. That's the Progressive way.

I didn't post this earlier because Taty didn't know until yesterday afternoon, and after that I didn't feel like posting it cause the spontaneity was gone. Fortunately, I came up with the thing of talking about why it took me a while to write the post, which is sorta spontaneous, so here it is.

I figured out that I like to write spontaneous blogs. Like if I see something hilarious, or something interesting happens and I get a picture of it with my Treo, or I got some idea I'd like to explore. Thanks to Taty, there are a few posts that I'll never write. Mainly because I already told her what I thought and I don't wanna retell the same old thing over and over. Too boring.
That's why having my Treo is a great thing. I see something interesting, take a picture, post it and that's it. I don't have to wait 'till I get home and have possibly lost interest by then.

Mmm, pizza

Mmm, pizza
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Looks good. Haven't had Pizza Hut in a while.

Decided to post this cause I didn't have any better photos, and I haven't posted a photo in a while.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

QuestionSwap

http://www.QuestionSwap.com

Try it out. You post a question, then get a response in your mailbox in about 1-5 minutes. Meanwhile, you're answering a question that someone else posted. It's like having a thousand different conversations at once. You don't have to keep up the small chatter and can concentrate on the weird and sometimes outrages questions. Imagine a chat where you elliminate all the "lol"s, "brb"s and the small stuff, and skip to "who's better, spider-man or batman?" or "why don't people like me when i only wear my underwear to work?"

Oh, yeah, try it out if you enjoy the idea of random fun and aren't so anal to think this is weird. If you are so anal, why are you reading this?

Jumper (movie)

First things first:

Jumper - Amazon entry
Horrific cover, I know.

Reflex - Amazon entry

Anyhow, I really like Jumper and must have read it first around 8th grade. Until then I sorta stopped reading. With Jumper, I fell in love with books again and haven't stopped since then. Jumper was (and is) an amazing book and it's still one of my favorites. Then, last year, Reflex came out and I snatched that up. It was a great follow-up, even if it wasn't a superb stand-alone book.

Now, Hollywood seems to be making the Jumper movie. What's more, they're making a trilogy. They're not staying true to the books (like with the Bourne stories or Fight Club), so they're introducing a kid called Griffin who can also teleport.

Now, here's the interesting part: on both IMDB and WikiPedia it says that Sam is going to be starring in the movies. Yes, Samuel L Jackson, aka Jules, aka Mace Windu, aka One-Tough-Mofo.

Monday, July 10, 2006

BuyBlue

http://www.buyblue.org/

Check this website out to make sure you vote with your wallet. Compare the stores by their ideology. See who donates to what parties and what stores care about the enviroment.
You probably suspected that Wall-Mart swings with Republicans, but now here's the proof. http://www.buyblue.org/node/2137/view/summary

Nope, no fancy picture or long post, just the link to a nice website. Thanks to Deb (George's wife) for the website.

Dummies

Dummies
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

The "Dummies" table at Barnes & Noble

The Dummies books are an oddity. At first, it seems cute to see books titled "Gardening for Dummies", "Sewing for Dummies" and "Chess for Dummies". But after about the sixth Dummies book, it gets old and at time pathetic.
Look closely at the picture and you might see the following "...for Dummies" books: XBox 360, Poker, Bartending, Asthma, Sex. OK, what the hell is wrong with people. Yes, we got it, you love your precious little concept and think that every topic deserves a "Dummies" book. It doesn't. There's no reason in the world why I should be seeing "Asthma for Dummies". There aren't people going around "Hey, I think I'll get asthma. But I don't know where to start. Oh, look at that, a book just for me!" Don't you reply that patients or parents need this book. I certainly hope not. If you or someone you're taking care of has asthma, get a real book. For a different reason, there shouldn't be an XBox 360 book. I took a look at this thing, and at one point it explains how to view images on the XBox 360. If you need a book to figure that one, an adult should come over, take your 360 away from you, cover all the outlets within reach and hide the scissors, cause you're probably dumb enough to poke your eyes out.

On a separate note, people should only have as much technology as they use. I say that not as an anti-capitalist or a technophobe, but as a technology expert and manufacturer. It pains me to watch idiots spend thousands of dollars on state of the art machinery that can render Toy Story in real time and waste it by only using IE and Solitaire. Most people don't need a computer. They need a newspaper subscription, a typewriter and a pack of cards. And some need a subscription to People or Playboy, depending on the gender. That's it! I have an over-the-top machine, but there's a reason. Aside from compiling programs in seconds, I need it to beautifully render creepy dead girls stalking me from level to level (F.E.A.R., a seriously scary game that should be played at noon on really bright days).

Back to the rant already in process...
There should also not be a Dummies book on sex. This is for varying reasons. First, and this is in a completely random order, there are countries where people have never heard of "Dummies" books. Imagine a Japanese tourist walking into an American bookstore (hey, the odds are a hell of a lot better than the opposite scenario), and seeing this little gem: "Hey, these Americans are dumber than I thought." Second, if you're picking up this book in order to figure out what goes where (which actually does start up like that, covering the basics of the birds-and-bees), you should not be reproducing. Trust me, America has enough idiots, it doesn't need the mental giants you're likely to produce. Yes, I think people ought to be licensed to be parents. There's people out there too poor, too stupid, too violent, too irresponsible, too whatever to have kids. There are people who should not be having kids, and all of you know a few examples. Lets hope those people you're unlucky to know don't have kids yet and never will.

This post brought to you by a visit to BN and Gustav Holst's "Mars, The Bringer of War".

A new book

A new book
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Take that illiterate-by-choice America!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

My shoulder

My shoulder
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

See the little red devil?

Well, do you?

It's not there, but there's a reason for that. Sure, I'm an atheist, but does that really mean that I don't believe that there is some "invisible" part of us telling us to stir up trouble?

See, according to the great and wonderful TV show "House, MD" (commonly known as "House", but that's the little devil on the other side telling me to be anal about little things), we can't control our emotions but we sure as hell can control our actions as a response to those emotions (Season 2, Episode 6 - "Spin").

So, some days there's a little red guy on my shoulder. Not right now, but sometimes. Like when blood is pounding inside my head, the lights are burning my retinas out and I can hear every single tick of the clock, whirl of the fan and my dog's breathing. Then, point me at yet another source of annoyance, and that little red guy on my shoulder is urging me to go postal: scream, kick, punch, break vases and jump off the nearest overpass. Now here's the good part. I punch that little guy in the mouth and he shuts up for a few minutes. My emotions are not mine to control. Not conciously. But my actions sure are. And that feeling of control is pretty nifty. Sorta like a shot of adrenaline. There's also the knowledge that I'm not venting my anger on someone who doesn't deserve it and just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

I suppose lots of people out there, teachers and the PR workers most of all, have honed this skill to perfection. I'm very far from perfect. So it's taking me a while.
On the other hand, if you're the kind of person who snaps at other people, who unleashes that "dark" side (hey, no reason this serious post can't be geeky and goofy), maybe you should think twice next time. If you can. Some people are just slaves to their temperament. I imagine most of the prison population would fit this profile.

This isn't funny!

This isn't funny!
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

This is the third power supply that failed in the course of a year.
Some people are cursed with PC's swallowing their English paper(and blessed with idiot teachers who believe them). Some people are cursed with freckles. I am cursed with power supplies going belly-up on me.
Now I'm off to swear obscenely (is there any other way?) and see if the latest power supply is still under warranty. For the price I paid, they ought to already know that it died and should be on their way to my house with a replacement.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

War of the Worlds?

Just watched "War of the Worlds" (to be referred to as WTF from here on in), and all I've got to say is: WTF?!

OK, WTF is a good movie.

I like Senor Spielbergo and really the enjoy the point-of-view (POV) approach. By POV I mean that WTF had relatively few wide shots from some imaginary camera floating hundreds of feet in the air. Most of the shots where from just by Tom Cruise's head and we saw just what people would see: destruction and awkward shots of the big bad things (walking webcams).

I also enjoyed the realistic character (really, there was just one character, Tom, everyone else was window dressing). Tom played the lost-but-trying father, and I really felt it.

The situations were a bit cliché'd and opportunistic: from the frying pan of the walking webcams into the fire of the mental-patient Tim Robbins (who had an unexpected but a welcome and interesting cameo). The plot seemed old and predictable and very unrealistic. Hey, shut up, I know that saying "unrealistic" about walking webcams popping out of the ground to vaporize people is strange, but here's some examples: Tom goes through adventure after adventure, narrowly escaping death more than three times, killing a webcam in the process and helping destroy another one, all without taking a bathroom break. Oh, and lets not forget the plane that falls on his ex-wife's house and somehow manages to miss the garage. I guess a 747 is big, but not that big.

And now, the ending. WTF had, by far, the worst ending I have ever seen, and that includes "Fellowship of the Ring" (to be referred to as "That Hobbit Movie"). OK, yes, I know, I should have read the book, as my dad pointed out, but no. That is no excuse for the poor execution. Yes, the book has the same lame ending. I guess in those days people didn't read the books to the end, so the author could really go hog-wild. Or not. But the point is that Spielbergo finished up the movie in one minute, explaining, IN WORDS spoken by someone sounding exactly like Morgan Freeman, how and why we won. I mean, spare an extra minute or two and show the global effect, but no, we stay with Top Gun throughout the whole thing and, imaginatively, the finishing shot is the same as the starting one.

Aside from the ending, the movie has quite a few errors. First, the camcorder. WTF? Everything electrical dies (lets not even get started on that one), but some guy's camcorder is working perfectly fine to show us a picture that's actually wrong?! Next, the plane. I mentioned it, but really! The basement is burned to a crisp, but the first floor of the house is untouched in parts. It might seem silly to nitpick the exact logistics behind the aliens' attack, but choose what you're going to be doing: either vaporize the hell out of the world or use us as fertilizer. Can't have it both ways and make sense. And what the hell was the point of the fertilizer option. They never bothered to explain the plants or the reason that the aliens are attacking us. Is it the same BS reason as ID4? You like our planet because of its resources? If you buried your webcams here millions of years ago, why not plunder then, not now when there's the resistance and the deus ex machina that results in your final demise? And, since Morgan Freeman explained that you studied it us "under a microscope" for years, how the hell do you not see that one coming a mile away?

Then there's the 9/11 influence. Practically everywhere you look there's references to that day: from Dakota's questions "is it the terrorists" to Tom being covered in ash to hand-held shots mimicking footage from 9/11, the movie is oozing with it. Nothing against film-makers acknowledging a national tragedy, but you gotta stop with it at some point.

Finally, and this is just skinning a dead horse, why the hell is this thing called "War of the Worlds"? Like the too-tall mental patient (Robbins) said, it's like men fighting maggots. I actually think that's a pretty accurate description of the plot, but you can't just call it "They's Killing Us Maggots, Move Your Ass!"

WTF is done well, has some seriously good elements but is in need of a better story. Maybe retelling the same old story verbatim isn't such a good idea. Look at the Bourne trilogy: they didn't follow the books but still made great movies and turned Good Will Hunting into a bad-ass mofo to match Bond.

Mao walks into a bar...

Ever hear this one:
A Chinese guy and a Taiwanese guy walk into a bar...

Nope, me neither. I tried looking for Chinese political jokes and hit a brick wall. There's nothing out there. It's not like there's nothing to poke fun at, either.

So, if you have political Chinese jokes, send 'em this way. Please.

Two hombres

Two hombres
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

The Cat

The Cat
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

He sees a walk as customary, now

Jehovah's witnesses in the house

Jehovah's witnesses in the house
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

My dad making some sweet arguments

Friday, July 07, 2006

Why I'm not online

Why I'm not online
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Argh! Too slow!

For Us, The Living

Heinlein's "For Us, The Living" deserves praise, a close reading and a better audience. The book is a marvel. It was his first novel and was never published until long after the author's death. Originally written in 1939, it was not published until late November 2003. I wish he published it in 1939. Perhaps our society would be very different if there was one more "banned" book in the world.
The book is about a man who dies in 1939 and awakes in 2086. From that point, the reader is presented with an in-depth, sometimes almost too deep, view of the future as seen through 1939 eyes. The future is quite a different time. Aside from the vastly different economics of the era, which I don't claim to understand fully, the world is culturally upside-down. I mean that it is entirely different, not that it is wrong in any way.
Heinlein's societal view of the future is more forward-thinking than that of the authors of today. He presents us with a world in which the society as a whole dumped the morals, ethics and taboos and began anew. Privacy is of the highest importance. Marriage is an entirely private institution, completely separate and un-necessary in the eyes of the law. Anything done without harm to yourself or your fellow citizens is legal and not of anyone's business. The society as a whole and its individual citizens understand that morals and taboos are completely subjective ideas bound to a particular place, time and culture. The "time traveler's" own concept of the world are not only shown to be ridiculous and entirely out of place, but almost dangerous. Heinlein sees, even then, that jealousy is a disease and that a perfectly adjusted person would not feel it.
The book is not so much an exploration of the future as a look at the current (the past, for us). Heinlein took the old principle of explaining our messed up world to a Martian (try telling one what Halloween is) and shows that our world would not stand up to scrutiny by another human, be it from another time (as the characters in the novel) or the same era (the author).
This book would surely have been banned, had it been published in 1939. Aside from tossing to the wind most of the morals, ethics, taboos and laws of the time, Heinlein explores concepts that even now would disgust the average American Conservative. Though, honestly, does that take much? Of course, if it were to be banned or burned in effigy, that would only act to raise its popularity. Nothing screams "Read Me!" quite like a notice from the local church, PTA or "Wives With Knives" club that the book is evil.

On a final note, aside from reading this book, you ought to do a Google image search for "wives with knives". It's a picture I haven't seen until now, and I have to say, it's pretty much what I expected.

Heaven

Here I am, in our back yard, and it feels like heaven. Our backyard opens into a small forest and I continuously hear squirrels running around on the trees, eating.
I am lying on a nice blanket, enjoying a pretty good book. It's Heinlein's "For Us, The Living". Granted, one needs to be a business major to read some parts of it, the book overall is a gem and would have been quite a controversial and important book if it was published in its day. Heinlein wrote it in 1939, but it was only published in 2004. And even for 2004 it is a culturally innovative book. Telling people to throw old morals and beliefs to the wind will still get you lynched in parts of this country.
I was just listening to Clapton's "Tears in Heaven" and it really hit me how much this rules. Nice weather, practically in the woods, a good book and a great song at hand, what more could I want? I'll settle for a Coke.

Edit:
Posting from my phone, by sending an e-mail, is not nearly perfect, since the formatting really sucks. Someone, SnapperMail, Gmail or Blogger, along the way puts breaks at odd places, so I get line breaks in the middle of my sentences and it looks really weird online.

Edit 2:
My dad just called from work and I answered the phone, while still in the backyard. He asks if my mom is there, and I answer [in Russian] "Gee, I don't really know, I'm not home right now." He immediately, and mildly amazed, responds "Where the hell am I calling, then?" Hahaha.

Loafing around outside

Loafing around outside
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Awwww!

Loafing around outside

Loafing around outside
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Awwww!

Naked Links!

Support the "Naked Links" movement!

Ever hear of Naked Links? No, don't try to Google it. I just did, and trust me, it's not what I'm talking about. You know what's the opposite of Naked Links: try Google or UIUC or eBay. Something like this, but worse. The infamous "Your eBay/PayPal account is going to close, Dear Sir/Madam, please click her to update some information and your account will be just fine" link. The less-infamous AIM profile "Click me and this weirdo will know who you are and when you clicked me" link.
The first is a potentially dangerous link. An unsuspecting idiot clicks the link, sees the familiar eBay/PayPal website, enters their password and a month later they're being hunted across three states for not paying their $50,000 credit card bill.
The second link is not as dangerous. At least, the victim won't be on the run from the law. This is a rather sore point with me, as I see this sort of link as an invasion of privacy. They used to be pretty popular a few years ago in AIM profiles. The owner puts this link in their profile. The victim clicks the link, are sent to some weird website before being instantly redirected to some MySpace site. But now the profile owner knows the screen name of the person who followed their link and when they did so. Sneaky. It's also not a very nice thing to do, considering most of the people that follow these links have very little idea of what's happening. My first way of fighting back was to flood the offender's system with about 90,000 users named "FU" until he finally took the link down. Now, I hope to educate. And flood them more if they don't learn.

The Naked Links movement aims to strip away the confusion. Give us a link and show exactly what's behind it. No more of this obfuscating crap. Sure, I always look at a strange link (read: non-search engine link) before I click on it, but most people don't. Scams are the most serious problems, but other annoyances exist. So I say strip! Take off that damn text.

There are alternatives, you know.
On my AIM profile I precede a link with a description in square braces, like this.

[My new blog]
http://power-to-the-fuzzy.blogspot.com/

Simple and to the point.

Another alternative has been sprouting up recently: Google search links.
This is when directions to a website or whatever say "Google this phrase and click the first result." This is one of my favorite ways to get a particular idea across. It serves multiple purposes:
1. IQ test: if a person can do a simple search, their IQ might be enough to see what I'm talking about. Seriously, too many people are stumped by simple things that can be Google'd in about 4 seconds. Learn to use that search button!
2. No complicated link to remember!
3. The website you're telling them is probably not the only one. Maybe you're telling a person how to make jello in the shape of cars. The phrase "nascar jello" returns a number of links pointing at Jello molds in the shape of various NASCAR cars. The person now has choices of which molds they might want to buy.
4. Pontiac is doing it! I saw a commercial that ended with "Type Pontiac into Google and see what's hot!" I mean, if a major car company is paying millions for this sort of advertisement, the method's probably not too bad.

Naked Links movement is not for everyone, of course. This is mostly for personal communication, whether in e-mails, chats, blogs of whatever. Make the wondrous interweb more friendly to the poor goobers who think hover is something a helicopter does.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Bookshelf

My college reading.

"Up with miniskirts!"

"Up with miniskirts!"
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Let's start this blog off with a picture of a work of art and my favorite animal. Got this beauty as a gift today. Hooray for unexpected goodness.

Also, this a first of the many upcoming entries that I'll be filing over my Treo.

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