Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Snow advice from a Microsoft dude

This is an e-mail that some people at MS are sending around. It's helpful and doesn't (to my knowledge) contain any MS-only information, so I'm posting it here. It's rather long, so I chose to wrap it. I'm also testing out this new wrapping code, since the old one didn't transfer when I switched to Blogger Beta. Click below to expand the post.

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So, in a sense, it took me from 10:00pm last night until 4:30am this morning to get home from work (including the detours). I have to say this is probably my longest commute I have ever faced, but for the first time, I actually enjoyed it.

Some tips on driving in the fresh snow (based on my experience in Alaska):

1. Always have a full tank, you never know when you will be stranded in a snow bank or traffic jam.

2. Keep emergency supplies in your trunk, water, clothing, jumper cables, etc

3. Many people have been making comments about speed where ice and snow are an issue. I have learned that it is not the speed that will get you, it is not properly managing the vehicle that will get you. When on ice and snow (fresh), your focus should be on how you control your vehicle not on how fast or slow you are going. These tips will help you to figure out what works best for you.

4. Keep both hands on the wheel, turn down any excess noise maker you got going, including passengers. In Alaska, I learned that you can tell what is going on with the road conditions by feeling the vibrations in the steering wheel and listening to the sounds your wheels make on the road. When the vibrations are normal, you know what it feels like and sounds like. When the vibrations are rough (like driving on a dirt road), this means you are on crushed ice or snow. When the vibrations are low and/or your wheel has a slight slip and/or your wheels sound like they are spinning and not grabbing, then you are on ice. Having this information from your vehicle will help you to determine how to deal with the road conditions you are facing.

5. MOST IMPORTANT ALASKAN RULE I EVER LEARNED: If it's black and shinny, it is dangerous, if it is white and powdered, it is fairly safe. Why is this so important? A black and shinny road means ice or water on the road. White and powdered (or dull colored) means snow or road sludge. In the snow or road sludge you can obtain better traction. On the ice of course you have the obvious. This is why when I was on my way home, I was able to go 45 while others were putting away at 20 to 25 mph. I was being insane or a lunatic driver, I was using what I knew about the road and what it was telling me.

6. AVOID USING BRAKES. When you have one set of wheels in the snow, you reduce your risk of danger. By increasing your distance from other vehicles in front of you to about 5 or 10 car distance (a good way to judge distance in weather like this is if the vehicle in front of you is kicking up rain, snow, sludge, or any other goodies, and it sprays onto your windshield, you are too close), you are providing yourself some recovery time before the risk of collision. The car in front of you will also provide you with another indicator. If they go out of control, you can bet you will find ice in that area when you get there. Instead of using your brakes to avoid the situation, glide through it by taking your foot slowly off of the accelerator. This will stop you from sliding on the ice or going into an un-controlled spin. If you use your brakes, you will only make the situation more difficult to handle, in fact, it could increase your odds of not surviving the incident.

7. GENTLE ON THE ACCELERATOR. When you are going from a stand still to motion, just take your foot off the break, let the engines idle state start you in motion, then gently depress the accelerator. If you are already in motion, gently apply the accelerator to increase your speed, if you get warning signs from the road, steering wheel, vehicle wheels, sounds, or other vehicles, just ease off the accelerator until the situation has ironed itself out. This method alone will steer you to safety by creating time for reaction to the situation. In addition, you will be decreasing your speed to one that will be easier to get you out of the situation.

8. When you feel the vehicle losing control, first remove your foot from the accelerator, then if you need too, tap your brakes, BUT ONLY IF YOU MUST USE YOUR BRAKES. When tapping your brakes, you want to do this in a 4/4 time in quarter notes (for the music folks) this is roughly a second to two seconds on the brake gently, when you feel it tugging on the vehicle to slow it down, you have applied all you want to apply nothing more. Take your feet completely off the brakes in between to give yourself proper timing. Then re-apply it for another second or two. Repeat as needed. You will find that just taking your foot off the accelerator is usually more than enough to regain control of your car.

9. Another vehicle is out of control and you are behind them, then take your foot off the accelerator and watch which way they go. If they are on the left side and slide to the right, then you know that you will want to go to the left side. Careful to avoid the same slick area. If you head into the same direction they are going, you will run into them.

10. Curves can be deadly. On the freeways around here, the outside of a curve will typically have the higher elevation. If you ride a set of tires into the powdered snow areas on the high side of a curve, you may slide a little, if you find ice, but because you are on the high side of the curve, you should have enough time to regain control of your vehicle. If you are coming into a curve and there is a car beside you on the low end, ease off the accelerator and let them through first, this way, if you slide you will not slide into them and pay for their repairs. This was the situation last night in the Puyallup area. Just at the 410 interchange, there is a high elevation on the curve there and people were sliding from the top left of the road to the bottom right. The semi that went through and caused the delays went right off the side of the road there and I believe the vehicle to the left slid into him to help make the situation worse. When I went through this same section, myself and the van in front of my went through it. We both slid, but regained control by the time we entered the passenger lane.

11. Elevations, hills, etc are the worst. Hills and ice are not good friends unless you want to go sledding. Avoid them at all costs. If you live in an elevated area and there are no other paths to get home, consider a hotel, it's not worth your life. Think about a route that may go around the area and come back to your area. If you must take the hill, then use the powdered snow idea and avoid going straight up the hill. Especially stay out of vehicle paths where someone else just plowed through it with their wheels spinning. They have just turned it into a race track for you, right to the bottom of the hill. Look for dirt in the road, snow, rough terrain. Anything to give you traction. Seek out the smallest hill to get you up instead of the biggest hill. When going down a hill, use the brake tapping technique to keep you crawling very slowly down the hill. If your speed continues to increase, then just increase the seconds you spend on the brakes. Stay close to the side of the road for any traction you may be able to find. All else fails, stay close to any high rise hill beside the road. If you cannot stop, then head for that hill beside the road, it will slow you down some, maybe enough.

12. Semi trucks are your friend, but you can make enemies of them. If you are passing a semi or beside a semi, they may splash your windshield with snow or ice and make it very difficult to see what is going on with the road. If you must address one, pass as fast as you can without putting yourself in danger. If you cannot get past them, then fall back to a safe distance and wait out for the right time to do it. Truckers are professional drivers, they have many years experience on the road and have had to deal with weather conditions that you may not have. Their experience would be a wise choice for you to follow. What I am saying is that if you have doubts in reading the road and you are nervous, get behind a trucker and follow them to safety. Not only do they have the experience, they also have a higher view of the road ahead and can see warning signs that you may not be able to see. With truckers though, you want to have an even bigger distance between you and them. This will allow you time to react if they "Jack-Knife" the rig. This will allow you enough time to navigate around them.

In addition to all this, it is a good idea to have chains for your vehicle in the trunk. If you have time to prepare, consider snow tires, they help nicely.

All this information is good for fresh snow fall, but if you are heading home today, you have a new enemy to deal with and the road conditions will be different. Instead of powdered snow you will have ice and sludge on the sides of the road, this may not be good. Look for dull grey areas in the path. This is the dry pavement. Use the powdered idea if you are in a situation where you cannot find dry pavement. If you find dark wet appearing areas, that can either be water on the road or it may be black ice. This is the worst ice condition to face. Black ice is hard to see at night and is even more slippery than fresh snow ice conditions. You still use the same techniques above, but you need to identify it quickly and approach it with even more caution. This ice will usually be found in the normal vehicle tracks in the pavement, so try and keep your wheels straddled on either side of the vehicle tracks. This condition changes when you deal with curves, it can be a strip that goes from the top of the curve incline to the bottom. Just ease off the accelerator and let gravity do it's thing. Don't fight it, just glide it. Always keep your tires pointed in the desire direction. When they grave some of that dry pavement, it will pull you right out of the situation.

Rear wheeled vehicles, put extra weight in the back, this will help you with traction.

If you find you are still nervous after all this information, stay mostly to the right lanes, except to pass, provide extra space between you and others when passing.

Overall, gentle actions will provide you with time to address the situation. Speed does effect you, but not as severely as the news broadcasters would have you think. Today, a King5 news reporter called a people lunatics who were driving faster than others on the ice. While there may be some really bad drivers out there, to generalize a faster driver as a lunatic may not have been called for. Personally, if this was his opinion, I am concerned about any other advice he had to offer about how to drive in this weather. If you are driving along and comfortably under the speed limit and you feel the conditions in the road and listen to what it tells you, you should be able to make a healthy decision and address the issue by adjusting your speed (taking your foot off the accelerator). This does not make a person a lunatic, just knowledgeable.

Hey I hope you have a safe and wonderful holiday. I also hope these tips are helpful to you. Trash them if you want, your call, just some things I learned growing up in Alaska that have saved my life many times on the freeways. That says a lot when you consider that I have been contracting here off and on for 10 years and 8 contracts and I have spent most of it commuting from Mount Vernon or Puyallup. I have endured ice, snow, water over the roadways where I found myself in a 360 spin, etc. Take it for what it is worth.

Larry E. Hayes (Volt)
Lab Run Manager
Microsoft Visual C Sharp Team
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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Microsoft is closed

Seriously. The whole Puget Sound campus is shut down because of the weather.

Yesterday I left work at 5 and got hit with some curious hail on the way home. No biggie, the commute wasn't longer than usual. It was weirder, but not longer. Then, around 8, I get a call from Suresh, saying that he can't leave work. Apparently, he's been sitting in the car 15 minutes and hasn't moved an inch. People of Seattle must realize that this is snow and it's nothing to be afraid of.

Today, it's worse. Seems they have no idea that ice on the roads helps melt the snow so that Microsoft can stay open. So, the roads are iced over, half the team has already e-mailed saying they won't be in, while the other half just read the e-mail with the subject "BUILDING NOTICE: CAMPUS CLOSURE" and decided to stay home, playing their Xbox 360's. Which is what I should be doing! That e-mail mentioned a few more things (none of which I hope are corporate secrets):

  • Building lobbies are closed, no receptionists
  • The shuttle service is not operating
  • No mail
  • No food in the cafes (which is the reason that I'm staying here until 2 or 3)
  • Corporate calls are automated. I think this means that I'll get a machine if I try and call to find out about Health Benefits or my stock options.
All because of a bit of ice? True, I lost control of the car twice (for like half a second each time), andI saw one guy trying to go uphill and not making it. He was slowly spinning his wheels and unfortunately slipping down the slope. Whoops. But all those people who have SUV's and Hummers, what is keeping you from work?

Now, the part where I'm pissed off: What the hell is this crap?! I left Chicago only to get Chicago weather in Seattle? Apparently, according to the Verizon Wireless techie who has no idea what she's talking about (in respect to my Treo 700p), this snow is very unusual. Winters are supposed to be 62 degreess, not the 23 that my car says it is. 23!

So far, half my team sent e-mails along the lines of "WFH", working from home, "WAH", work at home, or "OOF", out of office (don't ask me, they tell me that's the acronym and that I should RTFM and STFU). One of the guy was more original: My reindeer are on strike. I think this is the older guy with a white beard, the one I've been internally referring to as Santa.

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Monday, November 27, 2006

Facebook and Russians

I'm on Facebook. Yes. No, I'm not an addict. No, it does not run my life. I check it every few days, to see if anyone poked me or wrote on my wall or whatever. I barely ever write on people's walls. I don't accept invites to events or groups. In short, Facebook is next to nothing to me.

OK, now that that's over with, moving on to my actual post.

Taty recently joined this curious group called You know you're a "nice Russian girl" if... (you have to sign in to Facebook to see this one) There's a whole list of stereotypical things associated with being a "nice" Russian girl. Sort of like one of my favorites, What Kind of Asian are You? Now, this group sent shivers down my spine. Unlike most foreigners in America (don't know how foreigners behave in other countries), I don't hang out or associate with Russian people. You know what I'm talking about. There's that table in the cafe that you swear is actually Chinese territory. That group of Indian kids in front of you at the movie theater doesn't include people who've never heard of Murli Prasad Sharma. The black-leather-jackets walking by your office are all speaking Russian. I don't like big gatherings of Russian people for one reason: most of the Russian people I've met are nuts. There are a number of exceptions, of course. But there's such a high rate of weirdness, I just steer clear of that whole group-mingling thing.

What are the things that bug me about these Russians? Lets do it with a nice bullet-point list:

  • The only people they know or socialize with are other Russian immigrants
  • They care more about money than anything else
  • They care more about image than anything else, except money
  • They treat all-things Russian as the best-and-only choice (stick a Russian flag into a pile of manure and they'll follow it off a cliff)
  • They never try anything non-Russian (try suggesting Italian for dinner or going out to dim sum)
  • They despise other nationalities/cultures/whatever to the point of being offensive and racist (I once heard of a Russian immigrant complaining about immigrants from Mexico)
  • They bitch and moan about how crappy America is and how the old country is the pinnacle of civilization
  • They adore gaudy fashions: purple hair, too much make up, leopard-print shirts and a track suit are perfect church attire
It's probably because I'm biased and pin my own imperfections on people with whom I can easily associate. But I don't care. Maybe in a few years, after I've spent a considerable amount of time and money on therapy, maybe then I'll be able to hang out with a bunch of Russian people and not come away with a feeling closely approaching disgust. Not yet.

If you're Russian and are offended by what I said, ask yourself, do three or more of the traits I've listed describe you? If so, maybe you should be more concerned about working on your own issues than with one stupid blog being written by an asshole in serious need of sleep.

Oh, and if you're one of those people whose opinion of themselves depends on what other people think about them, go jump off a cliff. That's what we all think you should do. It's certainly a better alternative to what you have going on right now.

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Extreme Geek

One geek asked another if it was possible to build an Xbox 360 laptop. The second geek took this challenge on and three months later, this glorious monstrosity was born.



Link

Link to the step-by-step assembly blog

This thing weighs 14 lbs. Regardless, I'd buy it in a heart-beat.

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Chinese restaurants, the bane of my existence

I was at Jeem yesterday, for dim sum, and was asked twice if I needed a fork. Whaa? This is the first time this has happened to me in a few years. I think last time someone said this was at Bobo in Champaign.

I wasn't even struggling with the chopsticks or anything. Certainly I wasn't sticking them in my nose, confused as to their use. I'm here for dim sum and you assume this is the first time I've ever encountered chopsticks? Should I offer my waiters a dictionary when they don't understand me? Would that be racist? Isn't their assumption toward my chopstick familiarity also racist?

Here's a question I got on QuestionSwap:

do you consider even positive stereotypes racism? (ex: black people are good at sports, asian people are good at math)


My answer:

Going strictly by the definition of racism (1. The belief that members of one race are superior to members of other races, 2. The belief that members of one ethnic group are superior to members of another ethnic group, 3. The belief that capability or behavior can be racially defined), positive stereotypes are indeed racist.

Not going by the strict definition, I believe positive stereotypes are still racist. A statement "Asian people are good at math" implies that race determines, to a certain extent, a person's intelligence. If this is assumed to be true, it follows that while Asians are smart, some race has to be dumb. This is racism.

This is somewhat off-topic: these stereotypes exist for a particular reason. Saying "Asian people are good at math" is racist and inaccurate. However, saying "on average, Chinese students attending urban schools exceed their counterparts from other parts of the world in the subject of math" is not racist and is factually correct. So, there are "acceptable" ways to express your sentiment, as long as you don't base things on race and present factual arguments.

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Sunday, November 26, 2006

Minesweeper


Minesweeper, originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

My dad and I had a little competition over the holidays, trying to beat each other's time at Minesweeper. When I left, I held the high-score with 131 seconds. My dad just sent me this picture. I responded with "what the hell?"

Honestly, how does one go about getting a score as low as 31 without digitally manipulating the screen shot?

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It's snowing


It's snowing, originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Zoom in to make sure, or just take my word for it.

Guess tomorrow Microsoft will be empty as people try and cope with this disaster.

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Flyin' around

I'm on the plane right now, flying from Chicago to Seattle. It's Alaska Airlines, a decent alternative to American or United, both of which I hate with a passion. At least with Alaska, if you choose to buy a meal, it's warm and looks like real food. Last time I flew one of the other airlines you could purchase a box of packaged snacks, like Oreo's and chips. No thanks.

Honestly, flying has gone to hell. Recently, I went to the Boeing Museum and saw what planes looked like 50 years ago: they had enough leg room for an NBA player and the seats were wider than a Laz Boy. I think the next step will be to now allow carry-ons and sell the over-head compartment space to Japanese travelers. And shut up about stereotypes and all that. I saw a picture of a train where people slept in holes in the wall, exactly like in Fifth Element, and it happened to be in Japan.

I'm sitting next to a cool, or possibly gay, guy. He's wearing a very nice suit-looking outfit. He's got a hat. A hat, not a cap. Remember hats? Gangsters from the 30's used to wear them. The guy has two rings, a bracelet, earrings, designer glasses, a sleek phone, an Ipod in a leather case and a copy of The New Yorker magazine and National Geographic. Oh, and one of those stylish unshaven looks that appear on people who appear in People. And here I am, blogging on my Treo and wearing a "Keep out of direct sunlight" shirt. Isn't there a law that uncool goobers must stay a certain distance away from cool people?

Taty managed to send me a message just before I had to turn off my phone: "Scream BOMB for poops and giggles". I gotta agree, that would be funny. Being arrested, charged with aiding and abetting Al Queda, spending time in prison, possibly losing my job and needing to declare bankruptcy by my next birthday, however, isn't fun.

Speaking of cell phones, why exactly is it necessary to turn them off? Ever hear of a rogue cell phone bringing down a plane? I had my phone on for half of a 4-hour flight once, by accident, and nothing happened. The engines didn't fall off. Bright red lights and a booming god-like voice didn't say "that Russian by the window is endangering the plane".

Hmm, all this brought me back to ponder about everyday things that can be harmful on a plane. And that thinking brought me back to "Snakes on a Plane". If the bad guy has resources to put hundreds of pounds of different, wildly-varied snakes on a commercial flight, why not just scrap the Bond-esque plan and sneak on a bomb? So much more effective.

I think that people are uncomfortable with ooh-we're-on-a-plane-and-I-have-a-bomb jokes because plane crashes and explosions aren't that common. If they were an everyday thing and our society learned to distance itself from that death like we've done for everything from suicide to cancer, you could make jokes about explosions an d crashes on an airplane or in an airport. We wouldn't have to use substitute words: while traveling, I use "shampoo" instead of "bomb". Never mind the reason for why I need to talk about explosives in these situations.

Sorry that this is such a random thing, I just typed whatever came to me when I woke up. I actually got a bit of sleep on this flight. Must have to do with no one sitting between me and the cool guy, so I'm actually fairly comfy.

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Friday, November 17, 2006

Hooray for Dan!

Dan, my mentor, earns the coveted "Dude of the Week" award for alerting me of a bug and fixing it on the spot, thus saving me time, worry and embarasment (almost none, actually). Go Dan!

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FUBAR

Wanna know what some Microsoft developers do on Fridays? They surf with great Wikipedia. A particularly hilarious article was discovered by a colleague of mine: FUBAR. Scroll to the very bottom and take a look at the list of related acronyms.

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Thursday, November 16, 2006

Bible Belt

I just realized something. Or maybe I made an observation. Or I found it ironic?

I think it's interesting that a rather important part of the Bible Belt is in the Midwest, an area of the country where you really have to wonder "Does God exist, or was he too damn lazy to give us anything but these damn corn fields?!" I was wandering around the hallways and came to a window pointing North-West, towards the mountains. If I wasn't an atheist, I'd yell out Hallelujah right about now, because what I saw was almost obscenely beautiful. The sights around Washington can be described as God-like, awe-inspiring, monumental or overwhelming. Never boring.

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Monday, November 13, 2006

More proof that China sucks the big one

10 years in prison for sending an email - Link to Amnesty

I nominate China, along with Yahoo! and Kim Jong-il for the coveted "Wow, you're a turd" award.

Kim Jong-il is not nominated for the nuke incident or anything of that sort. No. I nominate him for having a major Napolean complex: only a man with a serious inferiority complex would need to organize almost Shakespearean in magnitude celebrations, like the one the world saw after the nuclear test. Only a man seriously trying to compensate for something would tell the world that during his first golf game he scored 11 holes-in-one.

Also, here's a curious oxymoron: Human rights in the People's Republic of China.
Here's a bit of information on the subject.

Human Rights in China?

Try not to vomit. Oh, what am I talking about, go ahead. This is, after all, a free country.

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Sunday, November 12, 2006

Sushi Land

Sushi Land is awesome. First off, Sushi Land is this sushi place by my apt. It's great: there's a conveyor belt that has plates of sushi on it, and the color of the plate determines the price. First off, I love sushi, so any place that serves it is good in my book. Second, this sushi is really good. Not your usual grocery-store sushi. This stuff is made right there, right in front of you, and to your order if it's not already on the belt. Also, Sushi Land is quite cheap. Their plates are 1$, 1.50$, 2$ and 3$. Every time I go there, my bill is under 10$. Can you tell me the last time you went out to a restaurant, had exactly what you wanted, in a nice atmosphere and paid under 10$ for it? Because of all of these reasons, I find myself at Sushi Land something like twice a week. I think the people over there are starting to remember me. I'm just waiting for the day when I can come in, sit down, and get a water and a hot tea without asking for it.
Apparently, it's quite good as a date-place, since I see a lot of couples there. It's a family place as well. A few times I've seen just an adult and a young kid there, like a grandma and a granddaughter, having a girls' night out. For them, Sushi Land is perfect, as the whole thing comes to being just a few bucks.

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Halo

I was playing Halo online today. Quite interesting.

See, in Halo you get to pick a nickname, any nickname. Most people choose names that are dangerous-sounding, like Assassin or Blade. Some people choose stupid names, like YourMama. You've got no idea how many times I've been killed by Your Mama. Then, there are people who choose stupid names that are a play on words. Let me explain: in Halo, when one person is killed by another, a message pops up in the form of "Bob was killed by Sam". Well, some people choose names like "a papercut", so the message looks like "Bob was killed by a papercut". Hmm. Amusing. The first few times you see it. And, finally, there's my nickname: fuzzy. I chose it because it's short, simple, and makes people think of a wimpy player. Think about it: you'd expect a lot from a guy named Scorpion and not so much from someone named Winnie Pooh. So, I went with fuzzy. People don't expect much, but when I start womping their asses like there's no tomorrow, they perk up. It's especially great to see my name in the final battle summary, as having made the most kills. See, the whole theory on this stems from "White Men Can't Jump". Good movie. In there, the white guy says that he's dressed like a sucker, so if he loses, no big deal. On the other hand, when a sucker beats a reigning champion, that is a big deal. Same thing here. Somewhat. That, and I really like "Get Fuzzy", so this is a bit of an homage. Anyhow, to today's game.

Today, we were playing on Infinity, a giant map of canyons shaped like the infinity symbol (rotate the number 8 sideways). In the game there were the usual people with the usual nicknames: "an act of stupidity" ("fuzzy was killed by an act of stupidity"), "Killer", some guy named "Moroni", "Hitler". Usual collection: play on words, a name, and two "scary" nicknames. There was also "IRS". It's funny to see "fuzzy was killed by IRS". Guess I didn't pay my taxes. The best part was that there was also a guy named "OJ". I think the player was going for the scary theme, so he used the name of a killer. :)

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Saturday, November 11, 2006

This is not taken out of context

tsafro: it's lke buying a potted plant and eating it

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I think I hear four sets of hoofbeats

I was just doing a search for a breakfast restaurant and stumbled on this sublime sight. Mmm, goes well with thoughts of pancakes and Eggs Benedict.





This is just sad. Microsoft is, apparently*, renting out virtual space on its Virtual Earth server. As if the net doesn't have enough ads, now they are showing up in games (the game downloads up-to-date ads and shows them on computer screens, walls and sides of trucks inside the game) and in map searches.


*I am not speaking on behalf of Microsoft. Most of the time that I comment on the company's products, such as bashing Vista, I am speaking as a user. I'm not going to divulge any secrets or in any way use my status as an employee to talk about the company's financial doings. I don't think it would be nice to say something like "Don't use Notepad. It's a second-rate product. We actually put a virus and a few backdoors in it. Oh, and we don't wash our hands after using the bathroom." If that wasn't an example, I might have hurt Microsoft. So, not going to do that. I will, however, make plenty of references to my co-workers, the office environment, the various toys I keep in my office and the hilarity that ensues whenever a bunch of sleep-deprived geeks get together.

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Friday, November 10, 2006

The joy of an office...


The joy of an office...
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Having alone-time for The Beatles and a bottle of vodka.

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Which one's odd?


Which one's odd?
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

Thanks must go to Rachel for this puzzle.

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Hi-larious

tsafro: dude, you ask her out and when she agrees you can harvest her for organs
it's win win
me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
tsafro: ... you win and some kid without a kidney wins
me: ok, now i'm regretting not getting the "i'm blogging this" t-shirt from thinkgeek

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Well, at least they have a rule about that...

It's against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas.

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Definitions...

Definition of pain: going to lunch with Vincent and Eran who attack every statement I make and make me prove anything I even remotely think.

Definition of masochism: scheduling another lunch with them.

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Borat

Thanks to Taty for the informative link.

Seems Russia banned "Borat" on the basis of it being offensive and "because the film could potentially humiliate different ethnic groups and religions". Following this ground-breaking decision, any film depicting citizens of Russia exhibiting anti-social characteristics will be banned. This group includes, among other things, films showing Russian people commiting crimes, lying, not being considerate to others, drinking milk straight out of the carton and not holding doors open for women. The only two films that have not made the new-and-updated ban list are both three-hour long explorations of butterfly mating patterns. Almost as an after-thought, the Russian culture ministry notes that it has no sense of humor and cannot tell the difference between a documentary and a fictional film showing grotesquely over-the-top humor.

I saw "Borat" last weekend and literraly laughed my ass off. Quite possibly the funniest movie I have ever seen. But it's more than slapstick. Borat does not make fun of people just for the hell of it. The entire film is a slapstick/satire piece. My favorite scene illustrates the beauty of his humor: the audience at a Texan rodeo cheers for Borat as he makes statements in support of President Bush. They applaud wildly as Borat suggests that the Middle East should be bombed until not even lizards can live there. They practically give him a standing ovation when Borat says that George W. Bush will drink the blood of his enemies, which in this case happens to be the people of Iraq. A few seconds later, Borat goes on to sing the Kazakhstani national anthem to the tune of America's national anthem. Within moments of hearing Borat say that Kazakhstan's leaders are great while all others are little girls, the crowd starts to boo and hiss like a bag full of snakes. Apparently, by the end of the anthem, Borat was led off because the producers feared for his safety. Seems Texans don't mind in the slightest the mention of cannibalism but are ready to pop a cap in your ass at the slightest hint of criticism. Which is not all that unexpected.

Back to the topic at hand, if you went to see "Borat" and thought "Hey, people in Kazakhstan live like this", you should be taken to the city square, castrated (just for the hell of it) and shot in the mouth. We don't need idiots like you.

PS. If you think I am entirely serious, you should be taken into the city square...

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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

House, MD

He's back... Damn you, Vogler! Damn you to hell!

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Nostalgia? So soon?

Saturday seemed surprisingly like college.

I woke up, played some games, did the usual morning stuff. Then, I went to the lab and worked for a few hours. Finally, something actually went right and my code worked. I went to Qdoba where I had a chicken burrito and read "Replay". Then, I went to see a movie in the movie theater. Afterwards I went to a coffee shop and had the usual combo of caffeine and book (still "Replay").

Overall, a good Saturday. Great nostalgic value. Though why am I feeling nostalgia over something that I did as recently as mid-May?

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She's probably right

me: dan (my mentor) keeps complaining how i get paid too much because i buy all these toys (he was playing around with that sniper rifle)
tsafro: lol
yoou're living out the materialistic childhood you never had
me: you know what, you might be right about that one

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Two sexist but funny lists about why one sex is better than the other

Link

Enjoy!

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Monday, November 06, 2006

What would make a mild-mannered Briton swear like a sailor?


What would make a mild-mannered Briton swear like a sailor?
Originally uploaded by FuzzyGamer.

This puppy!

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Saturday, November 04, 2006

Carrots

Someone once told me that Scott Summers (aka Cyclops of the X-Men fame) ate a lot of carrots as a kid and that's why he shoots lazors out of his eyes. I'd be pissed off at them, seeing how I've been scarfing down carrots non-stop for about two months now and my urine is bright-orange, but I'm saving so much money on electricity. It's great not needing to turn the lights on anymore. Apparently, carrots are like powerups in a game: eat enough and all of a sudden you hear this loud gong sound and you've got superpowers, like nightvision. Now if I could solve this whole tail and fuzzy fur issue, I'll be set.

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The Hubble Deep Field: The Most Important Image Ever Taken

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Friday, November 03, 2006

My new hobby...

What has four eyes and runs south?

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Softcore porn

Just watched a trailer video for Dead or Alive: Xtreme 2 and I've got some opinions (yes, I'm an opinionated ass).

Ever heard of Dead or Alive? It's this series of fighter games that famous for their well-endowed fighting beauties. And, while fighting has been emphasized to a fair extent, most people will agree that the games' main features are the female characters. Somewhere, there was a full department dedicated to coding breast physics. Seriously! In fact, in this new game, each breast has its own physics.

Now, I'm the last person to say that games should be sterile entities made of bright colored blocks chasing other bright colored blocks in a blue maze. In fact, I'm fully supportive of laws to restrict Mature (not to be confused with Adult Only) game sales to underage, unsupervised idiots for the sole reason that it will allow developers to cram more "offensive" content into the games. But some of what Team Ninja (the makers of the series) is doing is just too much. I played the demo of Dead or Alive 4 and I gotta say that while the femmes fatales are breathtaking and not lacking in any department, the game is a brilliant fighter and would have captured my attention just the same if all the characters were your usual stock males from the Mortal Kombat fame. But, from what I've seen of the 8 minute trailer, Dead or Alive: Xtreme 2 is softcore porn with the pretense of being a video game. The whole trailer is nothing but nearly-naked CG characters running around on the beach, playing on a blow-up Orca and tossing crabs back into the ocean (where did that one come from, really?).

If you're making a video game and sexual or violent content makes sense to be present there, go nuts. When you're making a game about inner-city gang warfare, I expect to see plenty of violence. I also would like some sort of indication that these people aren't asexual worms.

History is repeating itself, actually. It just shifted mediums: from TV to video games.

I think the kind of censorship that existed in American television in the 1950's is offensive to common sense and logic: a married couple had to be shown to sleep in separate beds and the toilet was as hard to find on screen as WMD's in Iraq. Are the networks working under the assumption that their target audience consists of people who are unaware of intimacy and have never had to use the bathroom? I hear "I Love Lucy" is really popular with the hour-old-infants crowd. You can't just ignore something because it might offend a few people. In this case, you can't just ignore something because you got it into your head that showing something that everyone has seen and knows about is, for whatever reason, an immoral and obscene act. And who the hell is offended when people even talk about going to the bathroom? You do it. You know that everyone else does. Everyone on the planet, with the exception of single-celled organisms (correct me if I'm wrong on this one, Taty) and Bonsai Kittens goes to the bathroom.

How about this: instead of making reality TV, trying making TV that feels real. Toss away the "reality" shows where a dozen pissed off, unusually beautiful and very confrontational people compete for an idiotic prize. Try something that shows real life, with all of its imperfections and flaws. I'm sick and tired of Armani-clad civil servants solving murder cases by interpolating grain-sized evidence to paint the crystal-clear picture of the crime scene. I'm bored of watching a top-notch government unit battle terrorists for 24 non-stop hours while never needing to use the bathroom and always staying within the PG-rated swearing rules of "damn it, we're running out of time!" How about "Shit, Tony, I gotta go take a piss before we hit the bad guys. You know how a full bladder can spoil an entire operation." Yes, I expect reality out of a show that jumped the shark a few seasons ago. But you gotta start somewhere. Why is it that violence is perfectly acceptable (thankfully) but a bad word, the kind that daddy says after pounding away four shots, is completely and utterly out of order? Sorry, I shouldn't try to draw this already-drawn-out post into the entirely too-easy bash-post about American culture.

If you want to take a look at the game, here's an 18+ (surprised?) trailer. It doesn't actually have any nudity in it or anything, but... Anyhow, watch it, if only to ask yourself "how can these people, with an entire department dedicated to breast physics, still manage to screw it up so bad?" And they do.

BTW, this is not the 8 minute, 400 MB trailer that I got from the XBOX Marketplace. This trailer shows more games and is quite shorter, clocking in at only 2 minutes. Though it still manages to clearly pass along the basic idea of the game. If you can, download or view the high-def version. Really, you ought to.

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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

On photography

This is a photo gallery one of the guys on our team made from his trip to Italy - link.

Really amazing pictures. Something after my own taste. Artistic, simple, beautiful.

That's the thing about pictures that people don't entirely understand: they don't always have to include a person to make them good. Look at the long shots of Rome and tell me why having some bozo in the middle of the shot, blocking the view, would be a good thing. Ever seen a photo gallery (online, in this case) where every picture features the same group of people with different backdrops? What's the point of that? Yes, I got it, that's you and your friends. OK, here you are posing in your apartment. Here you are posing in front of a fountain. And here again. And again. I've seen you enough times to draw a portait blind-folded. Is the purpose of your gallery narcissism or trying to photograph every possible occurence of people smiling? Or, not smiling, as may be the case of goth or emo galleries.

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