Russian TV and more

My grandpa is over from the old country, so we got a second satellite dish to get some Russian programming. Consequently, I've been watching (though mostly hearing) a lot of Russian movies and TV series. The only thing I can say is "God damn!" Someone, please take the cameras out of these people's hands!

In order to get an accurate idea of what Russian television is nowadays, think back to those "artistic" sophomores in high school. You know the kind. They wrote sappy scripts for crappy movies and imagined they'd win at Cannes. The acting was horrific, the script reeked like "bad meat or good cheese", the acting was a step down from porn and the whole thing cost 12 bucks for the used wigs and a soiled tie. Not bashing sophomoric for trying. Just for trying while lacking skill. I understand that you've gotta start somewhere and you have to learn on mistakes. Still.
Well, the majority of Russian entertainment industry seems to be looking up to our sophomores, as the drivel they're producing makes the sophomores look like Spielberg and Tarantino.
The scripts are horrific, being action love dramas, sci-fi love drams (think X-Files minus the science), or just love dramas. Basically, these people decided "Hey, doesn't matter what we do, everyone is screwing everyone else, it's all in the open and everyone is pissed off at someone." As a matter of fact, I think the directors have that tattooed on their foreheads "Your main motivation is you're pissed off. Go!".
The stories are incredibly two-dimensional, see-through, full of irrelevant scenes and moments and invariably involve the Mafia.
The budget is pretty much the budget of the sophomores. Most of the series (soaps, I suppose) don't use sets but are taped in actual places, be it apartments or offices. There are a lot of outside scenes (as opposed to the average soap) because that's even cheaper. Drive to the country side, place the camera down, have the actors pretend they're somewhere fancy and you've got your locations shots.
I'd say something about the actors, but calling them that would be a compliment. No, the people aren't reading off cue cards, but it would probably be better if they were. I can't really describe it, so just think back to the sophomores and imagine what the movie would have been if they tried really hard to show the camera their emotions. Oh my, that person is frowning, do you suppose they're trying to tell me they're angry after their father was shot a dozen times?
The people making this crap have apparently gone off the deep end. Russians are producing far more "serials" (soaps) than movies, and when they make the movies, those are invariable mini-serials, being much longer than the standard two hours. Quite in fact, I haven't seen many two hour movies that weren't made in the Soviet era. It seems that the serial format has dominated Russia.
For some things, the "serial" a good approach. I've long wished that the Sci-Fi channel would step up and produce classic works as miniseries, but it hasn't happened. Except for the remake of that horrific Dune movie. But imagine "Ringworld" told in something like 8 one-hour episodes. That way you get to cover the entire book, something that movies can't do well. Hell, there's a lot of good books out there just asking for miniseries made for them, but it seems that no one is listening.
Russian television is nauseating, though not to the people actually watching it. My grandpa seems to like it. Don't know what it is, but older people like to watch drawn-out stories with no end in sight. That's why soaps still exist.

Not related to Russian television is how my grandpa watches American programming. He doesn't know English at all. It's hilarious to watch. I walk into the room as he's in the middle of an action movie and he proceeds to explain the plot to me. "These are the bad guys. They're looking for the money the hero stole from them. Also, the main bad guy and the hero's wife were involved, but it didn't work out because the hero showed up. So now the main bad guy is really upset at the hero. What they don't know is that the cops have a man undercover. He's the main bad guy's second-in-command. And the hero's wife is actually a KGB agent in hiding from the damn capitalists." He's watching Die Hard. I truly have no idea how he arrives at these conclusions, but it's awesome. And every story involves the Mafia, as all the Russian movies and serials he watches always have the Mafia connection. What can I say, Russia is corrupt. Of course it didn't used to be in the good-'ol days. It's also mildly amusing watching my grandpa complain about how modern day democracy sucks and the communism was much better. The failure in the argument is that he's comparing broken and corrupt democracy of Russia here-and-now with the idealized vision of the Soviet Union there-and-then.