Discovery Park and "Snakes on a Plane"

Today, I woke up at the very late hour of 8 am. I was supposed to wake up at 7:30. So, I cried, ate breakfast, got dressed, showered, and went out. First on my itinerary was the Discovery Park. Let me tell you, getting there without a GPS talking lady is harder than expected. I don't know the streets around Seattle (M$ is in Redmond), so I, of course, got lost. Actually, getting lost is no biggie. It's fun. Just make sure you don't stress out and you're not bleeding too much. Then you can be lost as long as you want. Make a little adventure out of it. Count how many people you almost run over. Then, try and beat your record. Anyway.

Discovery Park is beautiful. They've got this three-mile path around it, it's very cool. Going counter-clockwise, you get to see the sights first and then, when it warms up in the afternoon, you finish off the rest of your walk through shadowed forest. The views are simply amazing. I don't have my card-reader right now, so I'll come back and upload the photos tomorrow. Some of the photos were taken at great risk to myself. Well, not really. Part of the path is on a cliff, underneath which there's a bit of land and then the water. Well, the cliff is pretty tall, and you're not supposed to go to its edge. Something about unstable ground breaking up and you falling 500 feet. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. So, I took some pictures and videos from the "restricted" points. It's scary. I'm semi-scared of heights, and this was pretty terrifying. The walk through the shadowed forest was very cool. I haven't been in a forest like this since Russia, and even that was different. There's this in Moscow. It's huge and it's insanely fun. But it's sorta flat. I mean, sure, it's got something like a gorge, but that's probably it. Discovery Park is much more varied, like the rest of Washington. A note on going there: wear a nice pair of shoes. My feet started hurting toward the end. Not fun.

"Snakes on a Plane". I give it a C+/B-. It delivers what it promises: there's no shortage of snakes on the plane. It also tries to gross the audience out (actually, there were only half a dozen of us, oddly). I think it succeeds on that too. There's enough situations to make you say "eww" and "come on, that's just sick". The little Chihuahua (I'm being repititious) gets eaten. That was actually funny. But the movie had a lot of scenes with people being bitten in eye, the lip, a bite-wound being cut open and, something that no one who watches the movie will forget, the first kills. The first kills, true to the horror genre, are of the amorous couple joining the mile high club. The third kill was a guy going to the bathroom. Any guesses on where the snake bit him? So, yeah, gross out covered, what's next? Oh, yes, the "story". It has more holes than a wicker chair. If you can get a crap-load of snakes on the plane, why not a bomb? Why bother with a highly traceable and a very uncertain method of killing the guy when a bomb is so much simpler. How exactly do you send an e-mail from that Treo when you're over open water between Hawaii and LA? There's more, but they're full of spoilers. Of course, I expected this of the movie, but I still went for two very good reasons: (1) Sam is in the movie; (2) The movie theater I went to wasn't playing Crank. They're playing "Beerfest" and "The Devil Wears Prada" (first one sucks, the second one shouldn't still be there), but "Crank" is not good enough for these bastards? Whatever.

The most memorable line in the movie (there's not many good lines to choose from) was of course Sam's: "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

Maybe tomorrow I'll see "Crank". Or, just do what I normally do and wait until the movie is no longer popular and I can get the aisle all for myself. Whatever.