The scary world of online purchasing

While my Camry was being shipped here, I listened to a local oldies station in the rental car. This one commercial kept playing over and over:
Two people, man and woman, are talking about buying some new high-tech equipment, a TV or a camera or some crap like that. So the woman says that it would be nice to get like a Sony, but Sony's are always so expensive. The guy replies that so-and-so models cost this much, which is apparently cheap. So the woman replies, "that's cheap" and asks the guy where he found such a good deal - "not on the INTERNET, I hope!" The man replies "No, of course not. At..." blah blah blah some local store that threatens people into shopping there. That last part is no joke. The store's slogan is "...or you'll be sorry".

Anyway, point of that is that the average American is a fascinating creature. They depend on Barbara Walters for their news, are sure the government is trying to screw them over with their so-called "doctors", are terribly afraid of even looking at a computer for fear of having their soul stolen and usually have a gun in the house. They are incredibly paranoid of identity theft and giving their information away online. Get over yourselves! No one is interested in you. No one is going to go through an elaborate plan of setting up a world-renowned website, like Half.com, that has operated legitimately for years, just to steal 319$ from your savings account. Umm, I actually had someone ask me about this very issue, or buying and selling stuff on Half. Eep.

Oh, and this is sorta related, and the real reason I started this post.
I ordered a game online, on Amazon, on Sept 12, and it's three weeks later and the thing hasn't shipped yet. I'm pretty pissed. About that, but also about online shipping overall.
I don't quite understand why they bother with 1, 2-3, 5-7 day shipping. None of the shipping times ever work out (at least for me). Ordering on a Wednesday, you might as well go with the 5-7. 2-3 will not get there on time, and 1 always takes a long time in the warehouse, and they end up shipping your thing out on Friday or Saturday, so either way you get it next week. If you're ordering on a Monday, Tuesday, 1 is equal to 2-3: it'll get there around Thursday, Friday. Never ever ever order 2-3 after Wednesday. Even Tuesday is pushing it. Basically, if you want something there this week, you better be ordering Friday or Saturday. Order on Sunday, when there's no one at the office, and it'll take them half a day on Monday to sift through the orders and maybe the warehouse will be notified by Monday night. Oh, and of course order 2-3. If you don't care when it gets here, but it would be nice if it's soon (I know, weird), order 5-7 on a Thursday-Saturday.
I just bought a thing online and got 5-7 shipping. It's Thursday. If I got 1 day, the package would be shipped tomorrow or Saturday and would possibly sit in the local distribution center over the weekend. 2-3 is a rip-off at this point, as I would get the package in about 5-7 non-business days. Bastards.
Unless you have Amazon Prime - free 5-7 and 2-3 shipping - ship slowest and accept that you'll get it too late and it'll probably sit in a distribution center over a weekend.