Smith

So, I've been watching Smith for the past three weeks. It's this show about a group of thieves doing heists. Only it's not. Not really. Sure, it's a group of thieves. Sure, they do a heist in each episode. But the heists are all small. The first episode was promising, but it only showed one messed-up heist. And now, we're being shown a crap-load of interpersonal drama, the effects of the messed up heist and who's screwing whom. Yes, they do heists, but it's either not as a group, or it's not the big heist. Like, three people out of the group will have their own heist. Or the group will have a mini-heist to acquire yet another necessary thing for the big heist. So, imagine a big and cool heist happening once a month. I'm sitting here going "what the hell?!", expecting that it'll be CSI inside-out, but it's more like House stretched out four or five times: you've got this big case, and there's all the preparation and crap, and there's the small cases in between. But it doesn't happen within 44 minutes, no, it happens in four or five 44-minute segments. And it bores the hell out of you.

Ooh, lets look at the wife be suspicious. OK, here she is being suspicious. Here she is again. Again being suspicious. And here's a commercial break. And we're back. Now we're looking at who's screwing whom. Mindless, forgetable and unimportant conversation follows. Commercial. Oh, look, Mr. "No Lips" (Ray Liotta) is walking around. He talks to a guy who might come in on the job. Then he sees the suspicious wife. Then he goes home. They have a tense moment where he knows she followed him, and she hopes he doesn't know. Commercial. Ooh, they highjack a truck. And store it in the garage for the "big" heist. Yay. Whoa, wait, commercial again?! Screw you!

So, at that point I fired two shots into the ceiling. Then things turn blurry and I don't remember waking up in prison, but apparently I did, and I must have said something to the wrong guy, cause now I have this ham sandwich stuck up my nose.

EDIT: OK, I do like Amy Smart in the show. She's pretty hot. And Jonny Lee Miller is awesome, foreign, and also pretty hot. Now, Ray Liotta just freaks me out. The guy has no lips. Imagine the inverse of the Angelina Jolie thing. It's so weird!
So, the characters aren't bad at all. I like them. Virginia Madsen is awesome, as is Shohreh Aghdashloo of the 24 fame. But they really don't have a lot to work with. Most of the time we see the cast wearing Armani as they walk around and plan and scheme and cavort. Whoop-dee doo. Reminds me of CSI: NY. Except that it sucks. Whereas CSI: NY just plain rules.

CSI: NY is my favorite CSI. Miami just plain sucks, and Vegas bores me. Ooh, look, more cases involving casino bigshots, hookers or stupid tourists. The reason I like CSI: NY is cause you've got this great city to work with. The city is built on so much history. You've got secret passages and tunnels and it's alive, constantly changing. Vegas is a sandbox with a bunch of over-sexed idiots. Whoo!